Appearance

As mentioned in the previous sections, being physically attractive to the partner you wish to perform the ritual with is not a necessity. In fact some Tantric schools believe that unattraction is desirable. However, there is a certain appearance that has been historically and traditionally taken up by the practitioners of these rituals and this is explained below.

As Aaiyyanists know, Murugan is the son of Shiva and Parvati. Orthodox Hindus in general believe this. But in Dravidian Aaiyyanist Hindu Philosophy Murugan is not merely the son of Shiva and Parvati but the universal combination of Shiva and Parvati to create a new being that surpasses them both. In other words, the creation of Murugan creates a new aspect of Brahman that did not exist in the confines of Brahman before.

Here is an excerpt from "The Origin of the Vel" that explains it well:

Murugan in the Aaiyyanist context

In basic terminology, Brahman is the all knowing and pervading One. A metaphysical being that is within everything and infinitely eternal. Out of Brahman emerged the Trinity/Trimurti of Supreme Beings: Brahma (The Creator), Vishnu (The Preserver) and Shiva (The Destroyer). The destruction of Shiva represents transformation of being, destruction of the ego-self as well as the final destruction of everything, and the inevitable remerging with Brahman. This is why in Aaiyyanism, Shiva is one of the more important deities.

Parvati is the companion/wife of Shiva and in Hindu Aaiyyanism is the epitome of the Mother Goddess. In the Aaiyyanist tradition, the Goddess Parvati is part of the Tridevi: the feminine version of the Trimurti. Remember in Hindu Aaiyyanism there is no real concepts or distinctions between male or female. There are just words or names to describe different aspects of the whole, which can be divided into masculine and feminine. Thus Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva represent the Trimurti, and Saraswati, Lakshmi, and Parvati represent the Tridevi and all emerged from Brahman and all are One. There is no distinctions, just variations that describe the holistic reality. So in this regard, Parvati represents Shiva's power and Shiva's force. She has many incarnations (such as Kali and Durga) and has been instrumental in defeating many Asuras (Demons).

Murugan/Aaiyyan is said to be a form of Shiva and Parvati, or the merging of feminine and masculine to create a holistic being. Murugan/Aaiyyan was created also by Shiva's inner being or his third eye of wisdom and Parvati's power and her inner eye. In traditional Hindu thought, Murugan is the son of Shiva and Parvati, but the concept of Murugan in the Aaiyyanist philosophy is more complex. Murugan is actually the merging of Shiva and Parvati to form a new metaphysical construct that compresses both aspects into One.

How the aspect of Murugan Aaiyyan dictates your appearance

So having read an understood the above section it should be fairly obvious why traditional Kaaryakartaa-Abhichaara Tantric practitioners adjust their appearance as a devotional act to Murugan's masculine and feminine aspects.

Historically and traditionally both male and female adepts have cut their hair short, either shaven for both men/women or an inch of hair from the head. This is to project the birth state of Murugan Aaiyyan and also to highlight the Oneness of both feminine and masculine.

In the ancient times both male and female would paint their faces to hid the differences in facial aspects between men and women, but in the more modern era (1500-present day) ordinary cosmetics can be used. This is why at many Aaiyyanist Tantric festivals you will see men and women with Kohl (made from soot - do not use lead) around their eyes. This was used in the ancient times to ward against the evil eye but has been embraced by the Tantrics to enhance the negative eye. What is important is the highlighting of the eye: as you recall Murugan is created by the 3rd eye of Shiva and the inner eye of Parvati.

Remember Dravidian kajal/kohl/eyeliner contains no lead ingredients. If you are interested (though do not try this at home), it can be traditionally prepared by dipping a clean muslin rag in a sandalwood paste. (Sandalwood has many medicinal properties also). The rag would then be left to dry. It would then be burnt in a lamp of castor oil to produce a soot. This soot would then be made into a paste by combining with castor oil or ghee (clarified butter). It would then be used as an eyeliner. Always ask a qualified Aaiyyanist practitioner to prepare this if you are uncertain.

But remember, this is how the ancients or traditionalist would create the eyeliner and is possibly not very safe if you made it yourself without training. Thus, it is preferable to buy a cosmetically safe eyeliner and apply that. The ingredients are not important but the outward appearance is, i.e. the highlighting of the eyes to illustrate Parvati's and Shiva's Eye. Remember, whatever cosmetic you use make sure you are not allergic to them. Try it first or use a commercial product that has been tested to be safe.

Unlike other parts of India, the Dravidian Aaiyyanists worship the darkness of skin tone. In fact in many orthodox Aaiyyanist households it is considered more beautiful to have darker skin that lighter. This is traditionally thought by Aaiyyanists as a cultural and historical link to the very ancients Dravidians who traveled from the sea from East Africa 200,000-100,000 years ago. So in this regard the natural skin tone must be highlighted not lightened with makeup. (Though some Aaiyyanists do use a concealer to hide blemishes).

Having said that, in the modern era we have many Aaiyyanists who are now from many different countries: USA, Japan, Israel, China, South Africa, Egypt, Germany etc... So there is no issue with any skin tone. You can be as light or as dark as you wish and there is no skin tone better than another - just be proud of who you are and do not try to mask yourself. There is no racism in Aaiyyanism as we are all One.

The natural skin tone can be reinforced is by rubbing the skin with oils so that they glisten. There are ancient recipes of oil, but you can use castor, olive oil or modern mineral oil that is safe to use on your skin. In the case of the Tantric Aaiyyanist who will perform the sex ritual you can rub the oil all over your body or get your partner to rub the oil (being careful to not rub the cosmetics on the eye). Again we have to emphasize: whatever cosmetic or oil you use make sure you are not allergic to them. Try it first or use a commercial product that has been tested.

There is in fact a large subset of Aaiyyanist Tantric sex practitioners (both male, female, transgender, no-gender) who adorn themselves with full makeup, i.e. they use foundation, concealer, bronzer, eyeliner, lipstick and mascara - and in this regard both practitioners (of whatever gender) mirror each others makeup so that they look the same in order to represent the Oneness of all, the blending of male/female to create a new being that presents the Murugan-Aaiyyan ideal. Basically the Assinayyanal and the Atankuyanal of whatever gender apply their cosmetics together as One and mirror the effects of both to achieve Oneness and resonance.

The issue of using full cosmetics is debatable in Aaiyyanist circles, so it is left to the practitioners if they wish to do so. Follow your ancient Aaiyyanist memories and see what you find comfortable.

Typically male Tantric practitioners would trim their facial hair, but not shave completely. But again this is just a tradition. Having long hair on the face or body is discouraged as you need to be able to trace Yantras onto the skin. So traditionally the Aaiyyanist man and woman would shave their body. However, facial and body stubble is permissible and is in fact the traditional attire of the Aaiyyanist male. The traditional Orthodox look of the Tantric Aaiyyanist female is to have very short hair, but not completely shaved as a man would do. However, in the spirit of pure Aaiyyanism there should be no distinctions between man and woman, in order to hold up the ideal of Murugan being both masculine and feminine and of all genders and none. Use your Aaiyyanist judgment and ancient Karmic memories at all times to find your path.